Pinpoint Your Streesors

KNOW THYSELF...

Stress has earned a bad reputation. It's really a God-given response that triggers your body for fight or flight. It can spur you into action, saving your life in an emergency. But when feelings of stress linger or are triggered for little reason, they can deplete your body's resources. They can make you susceptible to heart disease, high blood pressure, even the common cold. You can become forgetful, disorganized and less creative. Prolonged feelings of stress can also result in anxiety, aggression or depression.

What are you biggest 'stressors'? Procrastination? Perfectionism? Disorganization? A dead-end job? Illness? Unresolved conflict? Finances? Recognizing the main source of stress for you and your mate is the first step toward reducing their effect on you. It will bring peace to your marriage and home.

If you want 'home sweet home', kick stress out the door!!

Be Quick To Ask For Forgiveness

BLESSED ARE THEY WHOSE TRANSGRESSIONS ARE FORGIVEN...

Forgiveness is a wonderful thing, and yet, much too often we allow our stubbornness to keep us burdened with guilt, struggling in our marriages, and feeling inadequate. The good news is that no one needs to live that way.

When we ask for forgiveness from God and those we have hurt or offended, we turn the tables on guilot and shame. A rush of joy, peace, and even elation soon follows. Why sit huddled in a dark corner of the doghouse when you can be running and playing in the sunshine of forgiveness? Remember that you also need to forgive yourself.

The quicker you ask for forgiveness, the sooner your marriage will be back on track!!

Be Willing To Share THe Things That Move You

A MAN'S HEART DETERMINES HIS SPEECH...

In order to build intimacy in marriage, it's necessary to share things that touch your heart and affect you emotionally or spiritually. Don't take it for granted that your spouse knows all about you. If there's a song, qoute, book or movie that means a lot to you, share it. Then tell your spouse why it's significant to you and how it makes you feel or what it makes you think about.

Sharing the things that moce you creates a point of bonding. It also helps you broaden your mate's perspective. If you hold back your thoughts, feelingsm and opinions, there is little chance od deepening communication and learning what motivates and makes up the essence of your mate.

To be known truly, we must reveal truly!!

See The World - Even It It's Only Your Own Neighborhood

VOYAGE, TRAVEL, AND CHANGE OF PLACE IMPART VIGOR...

Think of a moment about those places you and your mate would most like to see and map a plan to go there. Another state? Another nation? Why live like a hamster on a wheel, running in the same rut every day to the same place at the same times? Take time out! Establish a timetable for embarking on your personal adventure. The truth is, half the fun is the anticipation. So dream big and often!

In the meantime, take time out to discover the treasure in your own backyard and neighborhood. There's an amazing world within a few miles of you, waiting to be discovered and enjoyed.

Happiness is discovering the world around you!!

Do Something Nice For Your Spouse And Do It First

IT IS MMORE BLESSED TO GIVE THAN TO RECEIVE...

Receiving is passive and an end in itself, but giving is active,. It produces, generates, and creates. Those who give to others set into motion a cycle of blessing that often includes feelings of joy, happiness, satisfaction, fulfillment, and a deep, abiding sense of purpose. Nothing else in life produces so many benefits.

Giving first serves only to accentuate the experience. It is a genuine expression of love. Indeed, it is love's finest hour.

Remeber What's Important. Forget What's Not

NOW THESE THREE REMAIN: FAITH, HOPE AND LOVE. BUT THE GREATEST OF THESE IS LOVE...

Many of us become stressed out over thigns that really won't matter when all is said and done. Step back long enough to evaluate your life priorities. Will the issues that eat at your thoughts today still matter a year-or five years-from now?

When we reach the end of life's journey, few of us will complain that we didn't accumulate more possessions. Neglected relationships and selfish attitudes could prove to be our deepest regrets. Prioritize the thigns that tryle matter in life. Spend time murturing family and friends. Give your marriage the attention iot deserves. Reflect on your relationship with God. All of life's other urgencies take a backseat to these.

Don't let the urgent replace the improtant things in life!!

Learn To Compromise

YOU MUST GET ALONG WITH EACH OTHER. YOU MUST LEARN TO BE CONSIDERATE OF ONE ANOTHER, CULTIVATING A LIFE IN COMMON...

No marriage can survive without some give-and-take from each parties. The literal meaning of the word compromise is' together to promise'. You promise and give in just a bit. Don't always insist on having your every wish or demand fulfilled. If you give in occassionally, you will short-circuit a possible power struggle. You may find that you get your way mroe often when you let go of the need to win.

Your marriage vows are a commitment to reach a point of togetherness. This means giving, submitting, and letting go of your own demands. A great marriage brings together two independent and different individuals and makes them one. United in purposem the spirit become interwined so closely that they become one entity.

Comprpomise makes it easier for two people to become one!!

Grant Your Spouse Some Privacy

THE HUMAN ANIMAL NEEDS A FREEDOM SELDOM MENTIONED, FREEDOM FROM INTRUSION...

Not everything in marriage is community peoperty. Grant omne another some privacy. Don't resent or intrude on the need for personal space. If letters arrive addressed to your mate, resist the urge to open them. Impose a no-snooping rule. Don't eavesdrop on telephone conversations. Treat as sacred the secret contents of personal journals or diaries. That box of childhood memories and treasures should remain untouched until your mate is ready to share it with you.

When you spouse willingly reveals information, you will know that you have earned true trust-one of the most important elements of a strong marriage. Don't try to rush it. Build trust with tume, and you'll discover it's well worth the effort.

A happy marriage includes respect for personal space!!

Never Take Your Spouse For Granted

ALWAYS LEAVE HOME WITH A TENDER GOOD-BYE AND LOVING WORDS. THEY MAY BE THE LAST...

Every day you live is gift from God. Your home, spouse, children, job-even you life-are only on lease to you. You cannot know with certainty how long each lase will last. Therefore, if you have been blessed with another day, you have great reason to rejoice.

Anyone who has watched a spouse endure a life-threatening illness would tell you to celebrate daily the life of the one you love. Put aside petty disagreements. Let your spouse know how much you appreciate the blessing of sharing another day together. Life offers no guarantees; so don't take your life or your spouse's life for granted.

Thank God for your spouse every day!

Show Respect For Your Parents

HONOR YOUR FATHER AND YOUR MOTHER, AS THE LORD YOUR GOD HAS COMMANDED YOU...

WE may adopt very different views that those of our parents. We may live vastly divergent lifestyle. Regardless of how much or little we feel we have in common with the people who raised us, we all retain several of our parents' characteristics. A part of them resides in us. When we respect our parents simply for who they are, we show respect for ourselves.

This attitude towards your parents sidetracks resenement and allows you to set legitimate, realistic boundaries for the relationship. Erratic, emotional reactions to parental expectations can be as stressful for your spouse as they are for you. Take the lead by determining to show respect for yourself and your parents.

You don't have to agree with your parents to honor them!!

Develop Your Own Secret language

THE BEST OF LIFE IS CONVERSATION, AND THE GREATEST SUCCESS IS CONFIDENCE, OR PERFECT UNDERSTANDING BETWEEN SINCERE PEOPLE...

Creating a secret language doesnt mean you have to study linguistics or enroll in a language institute. Undoubtedly, you and your spouse have already developed quite a vocabulary. Pause for a moment and think. Wheny ou are in a crowd, do you trade private glances that hold meaning to no one else? Do you have pet words that require your own secret code to decipher?

That unwritten dictionary shared only by the two of you provides a private means of communicating that no one else can translate. Silent signs such as a crinkled nose or a crooked grin exchanged at just the right moment serve to strengthen the bond of your relationship with your mate.

The language of lvoe needs little interpretation!!

Say YES More Often

LIFE IS EITHER A DARING ADVENTURE OR NOTHING...

Complacency is detrimental to life and marriage, but with each passing year comes an ever-increasing opportunity to climb into a rut. We nestle ourselves into a comfortable routine and refuse to budge without putting up a fight.

Refuse to trudge methodically through another day with nothing of noteto mark the passing of time. Set those fuddy-duddy ways aside and throw caution to the wind. Choose something daring for the two of you. Then talk it up to your spouse until they catch the vision. Behave unpredictably. Above all else, resist the temptation to conform to the mundane. Say yes to life and a more exciting marriage.

Seize the day!! Just say yes!!

Resist THe Urge To Nag - Always!!

A NAGGING WIFE ANNOYS LIKE CONSTANT DRIPPING...

Although women usually are blammed for nagging, men are often just as guilty. Nagging may be the single greatest contriburor to that dreaded ailment, selective hearing. Before you accuse your spouse of never listening to you, ask yourself if you are guilty of nagging.

If your badgering produces a payoff now, beware. Even the most compliant mate will eventually tune out a demanding whine. Few people want to be known as a hedpecked husband or a browbeaten wife. Harping and hounding seldom produce the desired result. Gently present your request. Say it once. Then wait. Allow plenty of time your spouse to respond before approaching the subject again.

Designate your home as a no=nag zone!!

Hold Your Spouse's Family In High Regards

NOBODY WHO HAS NOT BEEN IN THE INTERIO OF A FAMILY CAN SAY WHAT THE DIFFICULTIES OF ANY INDIVIDUAL OF THAT FAMILY MAY BE...

In-law jokes abound. But extended-family conflicts are no laughing matter. They quickly create stress and disharmony in marriage and can make life miserable. Often the problems we face with our in-laws could be avoided simply by showing them a little courtesy and a lot of respect.

In every conversation concerning your spouse's family, keep your cpomments positive. Leave the skeletons in the closet where they belong. Refrain from making your mate's mother the brunt of your jokes. Don't criticize Dad. Refure to belittle or poke fun, no matter how unusual your mate's relatives seem to you. Remember that your spouse's family is not your family as well.

Loving someone means loving whom they love!!

Cook To Please

ONE CANNOT THINK WELL, LOVE WELL, SLEEP WELL, IF ONE HAS NOT DINED WELL...

Express your love in edile ways by taking time to prepare your spouse's favourite foods. Cooking a great meal of special treats is a powerful reminder to your mate that you are thinking loving thoughts. Even if you have no culinary skill, you can brew the morning's first pot of coffee.

Plan time out of your busy schedule to prepare one of your spouse's favorite foods. Don't wait for the next special occasion. Add fresh meaning to the term 'comfort food'. If you don't happen to be a great cook, get creative. There are many ways to put a delicious mean on the table.

Meals presented by loving hands satisfy more than hunger!!

Priase Your Spouse In Front Of Your Chidlren

WHAT CHILDREN HEART AT HOME SOON FLIES ABROAD...

Children draw comfort from knowing their parents admire and respect one another. They feel secure when they see mum and dad grounded in their love. When you point out the good qualities of your spouse and expound ont he reasons for your love, you give your children an increased sense of security. At the same time, you reinforce the standards you want your children to seek in husband or wife. The ideals and expectations your children have for their future marriage partners are built upon what they see lived out by their parents each day.

Brag about your mate. Hold your spouse us as a model for your children. Reserve your gripes and complaints for your personal journal, and hold your tongue when you're tempted to criticize.

Light the way for future generations-let your love shine!!

Be Nice To Your Spouse's Coworkers

DO YOUR PART TO LIVE IN PEACE WITH EVERYONE, AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE...

You know that awful grouch your spouse works with-or for? The one leaves your mate frustrated or irritated by the end of the day? Even if you never meet your spouse's coworkers face-to-face, you can play an important tole in their workplace relationships.

Don't be quick to judge or criticize. Encourage your spouse to verbalize the positive characteristics of those they work with. Suggest ways to build bridges and mend fences. It is important to express empathy for your spouse's situation but resist the urge to reinforce hurt feelings by taking on your spouse's offense. Your lives will be happier and your marriage stronger when you make a habit of encouraging each other to do the right thing.

Be an example to one another of love and good works!!

Give A Special GIft - Just To Say 'I Love You'

LET HIM THAT DESIRES TO SEE OTHERS HAPPY MAKE HASTE TO GIVE WHILE HIS GIFT CAN BE ENJOYED, AND REMEMBER THAT EVERY MOMENT OF DELAY TAKES AWAY SOMETHING FROM THE VALUE OF HIS BENEFACTION...

Be on the lookout wherever you go for fun trinkers and small gifts for your spouse. The presents need not be expensive purchases or time-consuming projects. Think in terms of items that will make your loved one smile. It can be something as simple as a magazine that you picked up while int he checkout line at the grocery store.

Focus your extravagance ont he presentation-not the gift. Prepare some heartfelt words that express your deep sentiments. Let your spouse know you bought the gift simply as a reminder of your love. Little things can make a big difference int he life of your marriage.

Gifst from the heart are priceless - no matter the purchase price!!

Cherish The Everyday Moments

CHERISH ALL YOUR HAPPY MOMENTS: THEY MAKE A FINE CUSHION FOR OLD AGE...

We bide our time between vacations and holidays, eager for the next special event on the calendar to roll around, when we should savor each moment of our time on earth. The lion's share of life isn't composed of holidays and special occasions. WE do most of our living int he ordinary, everyday here and now.

In the course of a long-term marriage, there are many special events. But more than anything else, there are the ordinary days that make up your life with your spouse. Dont wait for a special occasion to notice your spouse's smile or thank God for bringing you toegther. Enjoy each moment.

Enjoy each moment with your mate. It is God's gift to you!!

Realize That People Have Different Ways Of Showing Love

THE HEART HAS ITS REASONS WHICH REASON KNOWS NOTHING OF...

A piemade from scratch may be a wife's deepest expression of love, while a husband may show his love with gifts or verbal tokens of appreciation. If your way of showing love is vastly different from your mate's, consider the training ground of their childhood. How did your spouse's parents express love in the home? Did they openly show affection, or did they express their love in more subtle ways.

Our ways of expressing love are as different as our personalities. Our badckgrounds influence our ability to convey the emotions of our hearts. Should you start to feel insecure about your spouse's love, consider the possibility that they are simply expressing devotion in ways unfamiliar to you.

Understanding each other' expressino of love will increase your appreciation of it!!

Allow YOur Spouse The Benefit Of The Doubt

AT THE GATE WHICH SUSPICIOUS ENTERS, LOVE GOES OUT...

Jumping to conclusions can land a couple smack-dab in the middle of a sticky relational mess. Accusations and qustions of loyalty can drive a deep wedge between mates, virtually halting communication.

Mistrust without cause often reveals your own insecurities and jealousies. But what are you to so when such feelings stab at your confidence in your mate? When you catch the first whispers of suspicious, discuss them with your mate immediately. Ask his or her advise on ways to deal with your uncomfortable feelings. Reinforce your trust while confessing your own insecurities. Focus on 'me' and 'I'. Refrain from pointing the finger and leveling blame with an accusatory 'you'.

Being able to trust one another is foundational to a happy marriage!!

Guard Your Spouse's Need For Rest

'COME TO ME, BABE AND I WILL GIVE YOU REST - ALL OF YOU WHO WORK SO HARD BENEATH A HEAVY YOKE'...

A good nap is a treasure these days. If yard work and home maintenance don't interfere with our need for sleep, the kids or the telephone will. We cram so much into each day that we rarely find time to unwind. Adults still need to get proper rest. Without sufficient downtime, no one can function at peak capacity.

If you want to see tru aprpeciation in your spouse's eyes, suggest that the two of you take a nap together. Resist the urge to fill every minute of your weekends with chores and errands. If you can't take a nap together, offer to keep things under control so your spouse can chill out for an hour or two. You'll be surprised as you see how many ways your kindness makes thigns better for everyone in the family.

The whole world looks brighter through rested eyes!!

Make A List Of Thigns You Love About Your Spouse

HOW DO I LOVE THEE? LET ME COUNT THE WAYS...

You might as well face the facts. You won't necessarily feel attracted to your spouse when you gaze into their sleep-matted eyes in the morning. You may need an occasional reminder of what you ever found attractive int he first place.

Prepare now for the day when the mystique of marriage fades and the excitement melts into commonplace. Keep a record of all the reasons you feel in love with your mate. Add to your list regularly and freely share your insights. You are likely to find that your spouse rewards you by working hard to preserve those things you appreciate most.

Use your words to rekindle your love!!

Commemorate Importan Dates

I'VE A GRAND MEMORY FOR FORGETTING...

Red-letter days such as Valentine's Day, birthdays, and anniversaries arent's likely to slip be unobserved. But if they do so regularly, it is more often the result of carelessness and insensitivity than forgetfulness.

Remembering those dates without being reminded will make a big impression on your spouse. Why? BEcause it indicate that you deeply value your relationship. It reaffirms your love and emphasizes your commitment to keep your marriage fresh and grounded in love. Don't treat these special occasions as just more dates to remember. Honor them as opportunities to celebrate your marriage and to keep your love alive.

Memorialize the milestones of your marriage!