Pinpoint Your Streesors

KNOW THYSELF...

Stress has earned a bad reputation. It's really a God-given response that triggers your body for fight or flight. It can spur you into action, saving your life in an emergency. But when feelings of stress linger or are triggered for little reason, they can deplete your body's resources. They can make you susceptible to heart disease, high blood pressure, even the common cold. You can become forgetful, disorganized and less creative. Prolonged feelings of stress can also result in anxiety, aggression or depression.

What are you biggest 'stressors'? Procrastination? Perfectionism? Disorganization? A dead-end job? Illness? Unresolved conflict? Finances? Recognizing the main source of stress for you and your mate is the first step toward reducing their effect on you. It will bring peace to your marriage and home.

If you want 'home sweet home', kick stress out the door!!

Be Quick To Ask For Forgiveness

BLESSED ARE THEY WHOSE TRANSGRESSIONS ARE FORGIVEN...

Forgiveness is a wonderful thing, and yet, much too often we allow our stubbornness to keep us burdened with guilt, struggling in our marriages, and feeling inadequate. The good news is that no one needs to live that way.

When we ask for forgiveness from God and those we have hurt or offended, we turn the tables on guilot and shame. A rush of joy, peace, and even elation soon follows. Why sit huddled in a dark corner of the doghouse when you can be running and playing in the sunshine of forgiveness? Remember that you also need to forgive yourself.

The quicker you ask for forgiveness, the sooner your marriage will be back on track!!

Be Willing To Share THe Things That Move You

A MAN'S HEART DETERMINES HIS SPEECH...

In order to build intimacy in marriage, it's necessary to share things that touch your heart and affect you emotionally or spiritually. Don't take it for granted that your spouse knows all about you. If there's a song, qoute, book or movie that means a lot to you, share it. Then tell your spouse why it's significant to you and how it makes you feel or what it makes you think about.

Sharing the things that moce you creates a point of bonding. It also helps you broaden your mate's perspective. If you hold back your thoughts, feelingsm and opinions, there is little chance od deepening communication and learning what motivates and makes up the essence of your mate.

To be known truly, we must reveal truly!!

See The World - Even It It's Only Your Own Neighborhood

VOYAGE, TRAVEL, AND CHANGE OF PLACE IMPART VIGOR...

Think of a moment about those places you and your mate would most like to see and map a plan to go there. Another state? Another nation? Why live like a hamster on a wheel, running in the same rut every day to the same place at the same times? Take time out! Establish a timetable for embarking on your personal adventure. The truth is, half the fun is the anticipation. So dream big and often!

In the meantime, take time out to discover the treasure in your own backyard and neighborhood. There's an amazing world within a few miles of you, waiting to be discovered and enjoyed.

Happiness is discovering the world around you!!

Do Something Nice For Your Spouse And Do It First

IT IS MMORE BLESSED TO GIVE THAN TO RECEIVE...

Receiving is passive and an end in itself, but giving is active,. It produces, generates, and creates. Those who give to others set into motion a cycle of blessing that often includes feelings of joy, happiness, satisfaction, fulfillment, and a deep, abiding sense of purpose. Nothing else in life produces so many benefits.

Giving first serves only to accentuate the experience. It is a genuine expression of love. Indeed, it is love's finest hour.

Remeber What's Important. Forget What's Not

NOW THESE THREE REMAIN: FAITH, HOPE AND LOVE. BUT THE GREATEST OF THESE IS LOVE...

Many of us become stressed out over thigns that really won't matter when all is said and done. Step back long enough to evaluate your life priorities. Will the issues that eat at your thoughts today still matter a year-or five years-from now?

When we reach the end of life's journey, few of us will complain that we didn't accumulate more possessions. Neglected relationships and selfish attitudes could prove to be our deepest regrets. Prioritize the thigns that tryle matter in life. Spend time murturing family and friends. Give your marriage the attention iot deserves. Reflect on your relationship with God. All of life's other urgencies take a backseat to these.

Don't let the urgent replace the improtant things in life!!

Learn To Compromise

YOU MUST GET ALONG WITH EACH OTHER. YOU MUST LEARN TO BE CONSIDERATE OF ONE ANOTHER, CULTIVATING A LIFE IN COMMON...

No marriage can survive without some give-and-take from each parties. The literal meaning of the word compromise is' together to promise'. You promise and give in just a bit. Don't always insist on having your every wish or demand fulfilled. If you give in occassionally, you will short-circuit a possible power struggle. You may find that you get your way mroe often when you let go of the need to win.

Your marriage vows are a commitment to reach a point of togetherness. This means giving, submitting, and letting go of your own demands. A great marriage brings together two independent and different individuals and makes them one. United in purposem the spirit become interwined so closely that they become one entity.

Comprpomise makes it easier for two people to become one!!

Grant Your Spouse Some Privacy

THE HUMAN ANIMAL NEEDS A FREEDOM SELDOM MENTIONED, FREEDOM FROM INTRUSION...

Not everything in marriage is community peoperty. Grant omne another some privacy. Don't resent or intrude on the need for personal space. If letters arrive addressed to your mate, resist the urge to open them. Impose a no-snooping rule. Don't eavesdrop on telephone conversations. Treat as sacred the secret contents of personal journals or diaries. That box of childhood memories and treasures should remain untouched until your mate is ready to share it with you.

When you spouse willingly reveals information, you will know that you have earned true trust-one of the most important elements of a strong marriage. Don't try to rush it. Build trust with tume, and you'll discover it's well worth the effort.

A happy marriage includes respect for personal space!!

Never Take Your Spouse For Granted

ALWAYS LEAVE HOME WITH A TENDER GOOD-BYE AND LOVING WORDS. THEY MAY BE THE LAST...

Every day you live is gift from God. Your home, spouse, children, job-even you life-are only on lease to you. You cannot know with certainty how long each lase will last. Therefore, if you have been blessed with another day, you have great reason to rejoice.

Anyone who has watched a spouse endure a life-threatening illness would tell you to celebrate daily the life of the one you love. Put aside petty disagreements. Let your spouse know how much you appreciate the blessing of sharing another day together. Life offers no guarantees; so don't take your life or your spouse's life for granted.

Thank God for your spouse every day!

Show Respect For Your Parents

HONOR YOUR FATHER AND YOUR MOTHER, AS THE LORD YOUR GOD HAS COMMANDED YOU...

WE may adopt very different views that those of our parents. We may live vastly divergent lifestyle. Regardless of how much or little we feel we have in common with the people who raised us, we all retain several of our parents' characteristics. A part of them resides in us. When we respect our parents simply for who they are, we show respect for ourselves.

This attitude towards your parents sidetracks resenement and allows you to set legitimate, realistic boundaries for the relationship. Erratic, emotional reactions to parental expectations can be as stressful for your spouse as they are for you. Take the lead by determining to show respect for yourself and your parents.

You don't have to agree with your parents to honor them!!

Develop Your Own Secret language

THE BEST OF LIFE IS CONVERSATION, AND THE GREATEST SUCCESS IS CONFIDENCE, OR PERFECT UNDERSTANDING BETWEEN SINCERE PEOPLE...

Creating a secret language doesnt mean you have to study linguistics or enroll in a language institute. Undoubtedly, you and your spouse have already developed quite a vocabulary. Pause for a moment and think. Wheny ou are in a crowd, do you trade private glances that hold meaning to no one else? Do you have pet words that require your own secret code to decipher?

That unwritten dictionary shared only by the two of you provides a private means of communicating that no one else can translate. Silent signs such as a crinkled nose or a crooked grin exchanged at just the right moment serve to strengthen the bond of your relationship with your mate.

The language of lvoe needs little interpretation!!

Say YES More Often

LIFE IS EITHER A DARING ADVENTURE OR NOTHING...

Complacency is detrimental to life and marriage, but with each passing year comes an ever-increasing opportunity to climb into a rut. We nestle ourselves into a comfortable routine and refuse to budge without putting up a fight.

Refuse to trudge methodically through another day with nothing of noteto mark the passing of time. Set those fuddy-duddy ways aside and throw caution to the wind. Choose something daring for the two of you. Then talk it up to your spouse until they catch the vision. Behave unpredictably. Above all else, resist the temptation to conform to the mundane. Say yes to life and a more exciting marriage.

Seize the day!! Just say yes!!

Resist THe Urge To Nag - Always!!

A NAGGING WIFE ANNOYS LIKE CONSTANT DRIPPING...

Although women usually are blammed for nagging, men are often just as guilty. Nagging may be the single greatest contriburor to that dreaded ailment, selective hearing. Before you accuse your spouse of never listening to you, ask yourself if you are guilty of nagging.

If your badgering produces a payoff now, beware. Even the most compliant mate will eventually tune out a demanding whine. Few people want to be known as a hedpecked husband or a browbeaten wife. Harping and hounding seldom produce the desired result. Gently present your request. Say it once. Then wait. Allow plenty of time your spouse to respond before approaching the subject again.

Designate your home as a no=nag zone!!

Hold Your Spouse's Family In High Regards

NOBODY WHO HAS NOT BEEN IN THE INTERIO OF A FAMILY CAN SAY WHAT THE DIFFICULTIES OF ANY INDIVIDUAL OF THAT FAMILY MAY BE...

In-law jokes abound. But extended-family conflicts are no laughing matter. They quickly create stress and disharmony in marriage and can make life miserable. Often the problems we face with our in-laws could be avoided simply by showing them a little courtesy and a lot of respect.

In every conversation concerning your spouse's family, keep your cpomments positive. Leave the skeletons in the closet where they belong. Refrain from making your mate's mother the brunt of your jokes. Don't criticize Dad. Refure to belittle or poke fun, no matter how unusual your mate's relatives seem to you. Remember that your spouse's family is not your family as well.

Loving someone means loving whom they love!!

Cook To Please

ONE CANNOT THINK WELL, LOVE WELL, SLEEP WELL, IF ONE HAS NOT DINED WELL...

Express your love in edile ways by taking time to prepare your spouse's favourite foods. Cooking a great meal of special treats is a powerful reminder to your mate that you are thinking loving thoughts. Even if you have no culinary skill, you can brew the morning's first pot of coffee.

Plan time out of your busy schedule to prepare one of your spouse's favorite foods. Don't wait for the next special occasion. Add fresh meaning to the term 'comfort food'. If you don't happen to be a great cook, get creative. There are many ways to put a delicious mean on the table.

Meals presented by loving hands satisfy more than hunger!!

Priase Your Spouse In Front Of Your Chidlren

WHAT CHILDREN HEART AT HOME SOON FLIES ABROAD...

Children draw comfort from knowing their parents admire and respect one another. They feel secure when they see mum and dad grounded in their love. When you point out the good qualities of your spouse and expound ont he reasons for your love, you give your children an increased sense of security. At the same time, you reinforce the standards you want your children to seek in husband or wife. The ideals and expectations your children have for their future marriage partners are built upon what they see lived out by their parents each day.

Brag about your mate. Hold your spouse us as a model for your children. Reserve your gripes and complaints for your personal journal, and hold your tongue when you're tempted to criticize.

Light the way for future generations-let your love shine!!

Be Nice To Your Spouse's Coworkers

DO YOUR PART TO LIVE IN PEACE WITH EVERYONE, AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE...

You know that awful grouch your spouse works with-or for? The one leaves your mate frustrated or irritated by the end of the day? Even if you never meet your spouse's coworkers face-to-face, you can play an important tole in their workplace relationships.

Don't be quick to judge or criticize. Encourage your spouse to verbalize the positive characteristics of those they work with. Suggest ways to build bridges and mend fences. It is important to express empathy for your spouse's situation but resist the urge to reinforce hurt feelings by taking on your spouse's offense. Your lives will be happier and your marriage stronger when you make a habit of encouraging each other to do the right thing.

Be an example to one another of love and good works!!

Give A Special GIft - Just To Say 'I Love You'

LET HIM THAT DESIRES TO SEE OTHERS HAPPY MAKE HASTE TO GIVE WHILE HIS GIFT CAN BE ENJOYED, AND REMEMBER THAT EVERY MOMENT OF DELAY TAKES AWAY SOMETHING FROM THE VALUE OF HIS BENEFACTION...

Be on the lookout wherever you go for fun trinkers and small gifts for your spouse. The presents need not be expensive purchases or time-consuming projects. Think in terms of items that will make your loved one smile. It can be something as simple as a magazine that you picked up while int he checkout line at the grocery store.

Focus your extravagance ont he presentation-not the gift. Prepare some heartfelt words that express your deep sentiments. Let your spouse know you bought the gift simply as a reminder of your love. Little things can make a big difference int he life of your marriage.

Gifst from the heart are priceless - no matter the purchase price!!

Cherish The Everyday Moments

CHERISH ALL YOUR HAPPY MOMENTS: THEY MAKE A FINE CUSHION FOR OLD AGE...

We bide our time between vacations and holidays, eager for the next special event on the calendar to roll around, when we should savor each moment of our time on earth. The lion's share of life isn't composed of holidays and special occasions. WE do most of our living int he ordinary, everyday here and now.

In the course of a long-term marriage, there are many special events. But more than anything else, there are the ordinary days that make up your life with your spouse. Dont wait for a special occasion to notice your spouse's smile or thank God for bringing you toegther. Enjoy each moment.

Enjoy each moment with your mate. It is God's gift to you!!

Realize That People Have Different Ways Of Showing Love

THE HEART HAS ITS REASONS WHICH REASON KNOWS NOTHING OF...

A piemade from scratch may be a wife's deepest expression of love, while a husband may show his love with gifts or verbal tokens of appreciation. If your way of showing love is vastly different from your mate's, consider the training ground of their childhood. How did your spouse's parents express love in the home? Did they openly show affection, or did they express their love in more subtle ways.

Our ways of expressing love are as different as our personalities. Our badckgrounds influence our ability to convey the emotions of our hearts. Should you start to feel insecure about your spouse's love, consider the possibility that they are simply expressing devotion in ways unfamiliar to you.

Understanding each other' expressino of love will increase your appreciation of it!!

Allow YOur Spouse The Benefit Of The Doubt

AT THE GATE WHICH SUSPICIOUS ENTERS, LOVE GOES OUT...

Jumping to conclusions can land a couple smack-dab in the middle of a sticky relational mess. Accusations and qustions of loyalty can drive a deep wedge between mates, virtually halting communication.

Mistrust without cause often reveals your own insecurities and jealousies. But what are you to so when such feelings stab at your confidence in your mate? When you catch the first whispers of suspicious, discuss them with your mate immediately. Ask his or her advise on ways to deal with your uncomfortable feelings. Reinforce your trust while confessing your own insecurities. Focus on 'me' and 'I'. Refrain from pointing the finger and leveling blame with an accusatory 'you'.

Being able to trust one another is foundational to a happy marriage!!

Guard Your Spouse's Need For Rest

'COME TO ME, BABE AND I WILL GIVE YOU REST - ALL OF YOU WHO WORK SO HARD BENEATH A HEAVY YOKE'...

A good nap is a treasure these days. If yard work and home maintenance don't interfere with our need for sleep, the kids or the telephone will. We cram so much into each day that we rarely find time to unwind. Adults still need to get proper rest. Without sufficient downtime, no one can function at peak capacity.

If you want to see tru aprpeciation in your spouse's eyes, suggest that the two of you take a nap together. Resist the urge to fill every minute of your weekends with chores and errands. If you can't take a nap together, offer to keep things under control so your spouse can chill out for an hour or two. You'll be surprised as you see how many ways your kindness makes thigns better for everyone in the family.

The whole world looks brighter through rested eyes!!

Make A List Of Thigns You Love About Your Spouse

HOW DO I LOVE THEE? LET ME COUNT THE WAYS...

You might as well face the facts. You won't necessarily feel attracted to your spouse when you gaze into their sleep-matted eyes in the morning. You may need an occasional reminder of what you ever found attractive int he first place.

Prepare now for the day when the mystique of marriage fades and the excitement melts into commonplace. Keep a record of all the reasons you feel in love with your mate. Add to your list regularly and freely share your insights. You are likely to find that your spouse rewards you by working hard to preserve those things you appreciate most.

Use your words to rekindle your love!!

Commemorate Importan Dates

I'VE A GRAND MEMORY FOR FORGETTING...

Red-letter days such as Valentine's Day, birthdays, and anniversaries arent's likely to slip be unobserved. But if they do so regularly, it is more often the result of carelessness and insensitivity than forgetfulness.

Remembering those dates without being reminded will make a big impression on your spouse. Why? BEcause it indicate that you deeply value your relationship. It reaffirms your love and emphasizes your commitment to keep your marriage fresh and grounded in love. Don't treat these special occasions as just more dates to remember. Honor them as opportunities to celebrate your marriage and to keep your love alive.

Memorialize the milestones of your marriage!

Appreciate The Little Things Your Spouse Does

IT HAS LONG BEEN AN AXIOM OF MINE THAT THE LITTLE THINGS ARE INFINITELY THE MOST IMPORTANT...

Too often when two people live together for an extended period, they begin to take each other for granted. Little kindnesses have a way of becoming expectations. When these expectations aren't met, resentment can set in.

Practicing an attitude of gratefulness is a good way to keep a fresh appreciation for the litthe things your spouse does to care for you and your family. It serves as a reminder to say, 'thank you' and keeps your spouse feeling that their actions on your behalf are noticed. Gratefulness is a great boost to marital happiness.

A little appreciation goes a long way!!

Accept Your Spouse Without Reservation

ACCEPT ONE ANOTHER, THEN, JUST AS CHRIST ACCEPTED YOU, IN ORDER TO BRING PRAISE TO GOD...

Many people spend their entire lives searching for acceptance. Rejection by their parents may have a lot to do with their searching and constant attempts to measure up. A marriage is te one place where your spouse should expect to feel uncondidionally loved.

Your spouse must not sense that you are always trying to mold them into your ideal perfect mate. Avoid comparisons. Accept your spouse without stipulations or demands. Grant permission for your spouse to be real, unfettered and relaxed.

Real love accepts others just as they are!!

Keep A Journal Of Your Favourite Shared Memories

GOD GAVE US OUR MEMORIES SO THAT WE MIGHT HAVE ROSES IN DECEMBER...

Certain moments should be cherished forever. Yet as time passes, our memories fade and fail. Think back. Can you still vividly recall how your spouse acted on that first date? Do you remember the soft, sweet words the two of you shared privately ont he night before your wedding?

Years from now, the mere reading of a yellowed-with-age journal entry can transport you back in time to a special event. Moreover, when the going gets rough, a reminder of happier times may provide that extra 'oomph' you need to succeed. Make your memories last a lifetime. Write them down.

Maintain a written record of your marriage's memoriable moments!!

Value Your Spouse's Opinion

WE ARE DIFFERENT OPINION AT DIFFERENT HOURS, BUT WE ALWAYS MAY BE SAID TO BE AT HEART ON THE SIDE OF TRUTH...

In those times when you search for wisdom, where are you likely to turn? A psychologist? Both may be excellent options, so don't rule our either of these resources. However, before you go searching for a wise sage, seek the opinion of your spoouse.

So often, we fail to appreciate fully those with whom we are most familiar. Their insight appears commonplace when we are around them constantly. What a shame! These ate the very people who have a personal stake in our happiness and success. Don't foolishly disregard this important resource. Place a high value on your spouse's opinion.

The best counsel you ever get may come from your own home!!

Refuse To Keep Score

'LOVE' WILL HARDLY EVEN NOTICE WHEN OTHERS DO IT WRONG...

Whether you have been married for fifty years or five months, you and your spouse have a history. And, undoubtedly, somewhere in that history lurk instances of insensitivity on the part of your mate. Perhaps they spoke harsh words in an angry moment or acted less than loving at a time when you needed love the most.

Often, couples haul in the heavy artillery of part grievances when they enter a fresh battlefield. Such tactics only add fuel to the fight and never aid in the peacekeeping effort. So before your next conflict, make an agreement with your mate. Agree never to insert past issues into today's conflicts. Stay in the present tense when you face marital discord.

Don't keep a list of 'wrong remembered'!!

Understand What Your Spouse Does For A Living

EVERY MAN'S AFFAIRS, HOWEVER LITTLE, ARE IMPORTANT TO HIMSELF...

Chances are, you and your spouse lead double lives-a life at home with the family and a life at work apart from each other. Once you say goo-bye to one anotehr in the morning, even if one of you stays at home, the two of you head off to separate worlds. Each is filled with people and tasks that will continue to affect your moods and attitudes when you come back together in the evening.

For a full and healthy marriage, take time to understand and converse with each other about the daily challenges you face on the job. Accompany each other to company functions and meet coworkers with enthusiasm. Strive to know and understand the worlds you live in apart from one another.

Your work life is too important not to share!!

Take Care Of Your Appearance

PERSONAL APPEARANCE IF LOOKING THE BEST YOU CAN FOR THE MONEY...

In all lielihood, before you were married you went to great lengths to make yourself look your very best to your future mate. You stood in front of the mirror combing and recombing your hair until it looked just right. Often these efforts are ignored when your dating days come to an end.

The energies you applied to 'catching' your spouse should not be abandoned now. Go to the trouble of making yourself look good. Shave or apply fresh makeup. Keep yourself presentable and do your best to remain as attractive as you were when you fitst fell in love.

Honor your mate by looking your best!!

Compliment Your Spouse Often

TO SAY A COMPLIMENT IS A HIGH ART, AND FEW POSSESS IT...

Don't hold back. Let your mate hear complimentary words from your lips every day. Rather than criticsm, use your words to praise and build confidence. Point out the physical attibutes you find attractive. In addition, continually remind your spouse of the many reasons you are sure you married the right person.

Toss aside any missgivings you might have about building up your spouse too much. The world outside your door can be a belittling and demoralizing place. Make your home a refuge from society's steady rips. Let your spouse know that your eyes see the wonderful thigns that the world may never notice.

Declare yourself as your spouse's number-one fan.

Plan A Romantic Getaway

YOU WILL NEVER FIND TIME FOR ANYTHING. iF YOU WANT TIME YOU MUST MAKE IT...

A woman gave her husband a note he was to read as he left the office one day. He was to open the glove box of his car and read these instruction: 'pull out of your office parking lot and go three miles South. Turn left. Go 4.3 miles. Turn right...' and so on. Her husband was delighted when he arrived at the mystery destination. The directions led him tot a hotel where his wife had planned a romantic getaway.

If you wait for a convenient time to break away with your mate, that time may never come. Why not arrange your schedule to include a mini-retreat this month?

Romance is the flame that keeps marriage exciting!!

Resist The Urge To Be A Fixer

IT IS AN HONOUR FOR A MAN TO CEASE FROM STRIFE: BUT EVERY FOOL WILL BE MEDDLING...

In our instant-everything society, it's easy to want to fix out spouse's problems immediately in order to ease their anxiety. It's a temptation to try to come up with a one-step, quick fix.

Often what our mates need the most is not a pat answer but a shoulder to lean on. Remind yourself that you are an invaluable help by simply listening. Many times people have the right answers locked inside of them. They just need some times to talk to someone attentive, someone who cares. All in may take is someone to ask intuitive questions in order to achieve the needed clarity.

Household applieancces need repairmen - your spouse does not!!

Avoid Veral Sparring, Especially In Public

A MEAL OF BREAD AND WATER IN CONTENTED PEASE IS BETTWE THAN A BANQUET SPICED WITH QUARRELS...

If you and your spouse fuss in apparent lighearted fun, save the feuding for behind closed doors. When you constantly pick at one another in public, those observing you may begin to wonder how you treat each other when no one else is around.

Another faux pas is contradicting your spouse in public. When you do this in front of others, your audience begins to doubt your spouse's credibility. And your contradictory comments might be viewed as disloyal. As your spouse recounts a shared experience to others, bite your tongue if you are tempted to share that you remember it differently. Wait until the two of you are alone. And even then, instead of sparring, let kindness rule your discussion.

Save disagreements and contradictions until you get home!!

Express Your Innermost Fears To Your Spouse

THE ONLY THING WE HAVE TO FEAR IS FEAR ITSELF...

Whatever anxiety you harbor-whether wildly irrational or distinctly possible-your first step is to bring it into the light. Trust your spouse enough to share your most secret worry. Through the simple act of admitting your innermost anxiety, you begin to break the strangelehold it has on you.

Let your spouse comfort you and tell you everything will be all right. Join your hands and hearts in prayer about your fear, and trust God to help you in your time of need. It's quite possible that this action will encourage your spouse to share their own fears. It will bring you closer together and provide a wellspring of comfort and affirmation as you attempt to overcome your fears and walk in faith.

To overcome fear, you must expose it to your love ones!!

Stroll Through The Mall Arm in Arm With Your Spouse

IMPARADIS'D IN ONE ANOTHER'S ARMS...

As divorce and discord prevail in many Western homes, perhaps the time has come for happily married couples to exhibit a little PDA (Public Display of Affection). Rarely do we see spouses express genuine love and wholesome affection in public. our world needs a few sweet reminders that true love ithin marriage can-and still does-last a lifetime.

Take pride int he fact that you are beating the odds. Use appropriate expressions of tenderness toward your mate wherever you go. Don't be surprised if you hear a few 'ahh' by those who see you.

What the world needs not is love, sweet love!!

Put YOur Spouse Befoe Your Work

THERE'S AN OPPORTUNE TIME TO DO THINGS, A RIGHT TIME FOR EVERYTHING ONT HE EARTH...

Do you constantly work late? Do you put in long hours of overtime and drag yourself home each night exhausted? When you go out for dinner with your spouse, are you thoughts on the office rather than on the conversation? In subtle and not-so-subtle ways, your job may usurp your mate's rightful place in your priorities. The balancing act between vocation and family often proves tough to manage.

Your career may serve as more than just a means of earning an income. If so, that's wonderful. But when your job takes precedence over your family, it's time to reexamine your priorities. Both husbands and wives should view marriage as their first career.

Marriage is the most important job you'll ever hold!!

Brag About Your Spouse To Family And Friends

I CAN LIVE FOR TWO MONTHS ON A GOOD COMPLIMENT...

Your parents may feel that your mate doesn't quite live up to the hight expectations they held for you. Your friends may view the one you married as an intruder. But when you consistently highlight the positive attributes of the love of your life, your praise should eventually wear down even the most stubborn skeptic.

Seize every opportunity to point out the many wonderful qualities you see in your mate. When you go overboard with genuine praise, the rewards are twofold: you reinforce for yourself how fortunate you are to be married to such a fantastic person, and you let others know you are not willing to entertain any criticism of your spouse.

Focus not on the warts but on the wonders of your mate!!

Keep A Positive Outlook On Life

ATTITUDES ARE CAPABLE OF MAKING THE SAME EXPERIENCE EITHER PLEASANT OR PAINFUL...

A single complaint often leads your thoughts down a depressing spiral of nagativity. Negativity breeds faster than rabbits. Rarely does a complaining attitude produce positive results.

No matter how well things are going, most of us can find something to complaint about. It is so east to fall into the habit of begative thinking. Determine today to put an end to sour negativity and instead look for ways to improve your attitude. Commit a random act of kindness. Focus your attention away from your problems and onto the needs of others. Bless your spouse and those around you with a cheerful disposition.

A positive attitude engenders a positive response!!

Head To Bed With Your Spouse

BED IS A BUNDLE OF PARADOXES; WE GO TO IT WITH RELUCTANCE, YET WE QUIT IT WITH REGRET...

Can you recall those sweet days of childhood hen your parents lovingly tucked the covers under your chin and kissed you good night? Although you're all grown up now, those treasured, end-of-the-dday warm fuzziues need not end. Institute a nightly ritual with your mate.

Don't leave your spouse on the sofa as you tiptoe off to bed. Chooce to go to bed together. Save at least enough energy to kiss each other and whisper 'good-night, honey! I love you..' on those evenings when you are both too tired for a romantic interlude. Dozing off together will increase your feelings of well-being and give you a head start on a good night's rest.

Bedtime rituals aren't just for children!!

Eat Dinner Together At The Table

WHEN YOU HAVE EATEN YOU FILL BLESS THE LORD YOUR GOD FOR THE GOOD LAND HE HAS GIVEN US...

Are you always eating on the run? Tonight, will dinner amount to grabbing a quick burger from a drive-thru? If so, you're missing out on an opportunity to communicate with your mate.

As often as possible, share your meal at the table in the quiet of your own home. Don't plan a big production, or your sit-down dinner plans will seldom materialize. Turn off the mobile phone and let the answering machine pick up your calls. Listen to soothing music rather than the blaring television. Light candles to add a bit of romance to the room if you like. Provide a relaxing atmosphere for your evening meals, and watch it become nourishment for your marriage as well as your body.

If you're too busy to sit and eat, you're too busy!!

Block Out Time On Your Calendar For Your Mate

THE UNFORTUNATE THING ABOUT THIS WORK IS THAT GOOD HABITS ARE SO MUCH EASIER TO GIVE UP THAN BAD ONES...

Before you enter any other oppointments on your weekly planner, reserve a standing date night with your mate. Schedule this time as you would any important business meeting. Free nights seldom, if ever, magically appear. If your calendar or bank account won't allow for a weekly date, aim for a monthly rendezvous.

If you find it next to impossible to pencil in a Friday night movie date,consider a Saturday morning breakfast date at your favourite restaurant or a Sunday afternoon stroll through the park. Once you've mutually decided ont he most convenient date, time, and place, religiosly guard this important tryst. Don't let anything or anyone squeeze into this time.

Continuing to date after marriage helps keep the romance alive!!

Never Go To Bed Angry

DO NOT LET THE SUN GO DOWN WHILE YOU ARE STILL ANGRY, AND DO NOT GIVE THE DEVIL A FOOTHOLD...

Like mushrooms growing in the dark and damp forest, anger sprouts into full-blown contempt during the night. Something about those long, dark hours seems to breed malice. EAch tick of the clock intensifies a nightime rage. Anger is a natural human emotion, but left to fester, it can do real damage to a relationship.

Don't take your anger to bed with you. Don't allow bitterness to fester until it does lasting harm. Expose your anger to the light as soona s it sprouts. Talk openly with your mate about the issue in question. Then forgive and do it quickly. Otherwise, it will be even more difficult in the morning.

Put anger to rest before you retire for the night!!

Refuse To Speak Negatively About Your Spouse

A WORD RASHLY SPOKEN CANNOT BE BROUGHT BACK BY A CHARIOT AND FOUR HORSES...

A public forum is not the appropriate place to nurse a grudge. Even if you feel your spouse deserves your critism, never air your anger and resentment in the company of others. Such an action often backfires.

As the afternoon TV talk shows have proven, an audience is more likely to inflame rather than quell an already volatile situation. When you criticize your mate publicly, you not only lower their opinion of you as well. Stop before you speak those negative words. Ask yourself, what do I hope to gain by criticizing my spouse to others? You'll find that question rarely has a worthy answer.

Disagreements should be dicussed behind closed doors!!

Develop A Sense Of Humor

AMONG THOSE WHOM I LIKE OR ADMIRE, I CAN FIND NO COMMON DENOMINATOR; BUT AMONG THOSE WHOM I LOVE, I CAN: ALL OF THEM MAKE ME LAUGH...

A good sense of humor is an immeasurable source of joy when shared with your mate. Tossing around comedic insights about this crazy life can foster a lighthearted atmoshpere that will bring energy into your marriage.

If a good sense of humor does not come naturally to you, there are ways to cultivate one. Train yourself to be observant during conversations. You may find that something someone says triggers a funny memory or a play on words. Observe people who have a good sense of humor and note how they interject humor into everyday life and conversation. The important thing is to make an honored place for shared laughter with your spouse.

Laugh your way to a happy marriage!!

Deal With Your Emotional Baggage

THE FIRST RULE IS TO KEEP AN UNTROUBLED SPIRIT. THE SECOND IS TO LOOK THINGS IN THE FACE AND KNOW THEM FOR WHAT THEY ARE...

All human beings have painful experiences that have an impact on them at some level. They can affect the way we make decisions and relate to others, including our mates. If you experience feellings of guilt, failurem angerm or shame as a result of past experiences, dont ignore them. They are likely to intensify and will undoubtedly affect your marriage.

It will take some courage, but if you want to be a more secure, loving person and spouse, it's vital that you work to heal broken places in your heart. Take a look at yourself honestly. Be willing to talk with God, your close friends, your mate, or maybe even a professional counselor. The healthier you are emotionally the healtheir your marriage will be.

Lighten your load - drop your emotional baggage!!

Forgive Each Other

BE GENTLE AND READY TO FORGIVE; NEVER HOLD GRUDGES.

People hurt other people - intentionally or not, it' a fact of life. Holding on to that hurt forces you to carry a load that your body, particularly your heart, was not designed to handle. It robs you of energy that could be used for mroe positive things - like nurturing your marriage.

Forgiveness is a gift - no string attached, regardless of whether the offender is erpentant or has no remorse. It doesn't mean validating the action or excusing the wrongdoer. It means fully understanding how much you were hurt and choosing to release the offending person in spite of it. It's something you can do fully only through God, because He has done it so freely for you.

Forgiving others is a gift you give yourself!!

Go On A Walk Together

MY LOVER SPOKE AND SAID TO ME, ' BABE, MY DARLING, MY BEAUTIFUL ONE, AND COME WITH ME'...

Go ahead! A stroll through the neighborhood will do both of you good in more ways than one. If you have children at home, saddle up the stroller or strap on their in-line skates. Walk just fast enough to get your heart pumping, but not so fast that you can't talk comfortably. Share the details of your busy day. Watch as the sun sets. Saunter in silence. Soak int he fresh air and the comforting sense of belonging to each other.

Convenient excuses not to walk abound, but you will quickly find that this new evening ritual is worth the effort. It will provide an opportunity to exercise your body and tone up your relationship. Don't put it off.

Spend at least a few minutes of each day walking outside together!!

Treasure Your Time Together

THERE IS NO MORE LOVELY, FRIENDLY, AND CHARMING RELATIONSHIP, COMMUNION, OR COMPANY THAN A GOOD MARRIAGE...

We often to to great lengths to protect our valuables. We polish our silver, wax the car, rent a safe-deposit box for the diamond jewelry we have inherited, andinsure our possessions for the full replacement value. Yet we often neglect one of our most priceless treasures. A strong marriage demands an investment of time spend together-polishing an protecting, nurturing and affirming.

Don't underestimate the value of a good marriage. It can provide you with a lifetime of comfort, emcouragement, and a strong sense of family even after the kids are grown and gone. Marriage, however, requires constant maintenance. Don't allow anything or anyone to interfere with those precious few moments you find to spend together.

Investing time in your marriage yields priceless results!!