Appreciate The Little Things Your Spouse Does

IT HAS LONG BEEN AN AXIOM OF MINE THAT THE LITTLE THINGS ARE INFINITELY THE MOST IMPORTANT...

Too often when two people live together for an extended period, they begin to take each other for granted. Little kindnesses have a way of becoming expectations. When these expectations aren't met, resentment can set in.

Practicing an attitude of gratefulness is a good way to keep a fresh appreciation for the litthe things your spouse does to care for you and your family. It serves as a reminder to say, 'thank you' and keeps your spouse feeling that their actions on your behalf are noticed. Gratefulness is a great boost to marital happiness.

A little appreciation goes a long way!!

Accept Your Spouse Without Reservation

ACCEPT ONE ANOTHER, THEN, JUST AS CHRIST ACCEPTED YOU, IN ORDER TO BRING PRAISE TO GOD...

Many people spend their entire lives searching for acceptance. Rejection by their parents may have a lot to do with their searching and constant attempts to measure up. A marriage is te one place where your spouse should expect to feel uncondidionally loved.

Your spouse must not sense that you are always trying to mold them into your ideal perfect mate. Avoid comparisons. Accept your spouse without stipulations or demands. Grant permission for your spouse to be real, unfettered and relaxed.

Real love accepts others just as they are!!

Keep A Journal Of Your Favourite Shared Memories

GOD GAVE US OUR MEMORIES SO THAT WE MIGHT HAVE ROSES IN DECEMBER...

Certain moments should be cherished forever. Yet as time passes, our memories fade and fail. Think back. Can you still vividly recall how your spouse acted on that first date? Do you remember the soft, sweet words the two of you shared privately ont he night before your wedding?

Years from now, the mere reading of a yellowed-with-age journal entry can transport you back in time to a special event. Moreover, when the going gets rough, a reminder of happier times may provide that extra 'oomph' you need to succeed. Make your memories last a lifetime. Write them down.

Maintain a written record of your marriage's memoriable moments!!

Value Your Spouse's Opinion

WE ARE DIFFERENT OPINION AT DIFFERENT HOURS, BUT WE ALWAYS MAY BE SAID TO BE AT HEART ON THE SIDE OF TRUTH...

In those times when you search for wisdom, where are you likely to turn? A psychologist? Both may be excellent options, so don't rule our either of these resources. However, before you go searching for a wise sage, seek the opinion of your spoouse.

So often, we fail to appreciate fully those with whom we are most familiar. Their insight appears commonplace when we are around them constantly. What a shame! These ate the very people who have a personal stake in our happiness and success. Don't foolishly disregard this important resource. Place a high value on your spouse's opinion.

The best counsel you ever get may come from your own home!!

Refuse To Keep Score

'LOVE' WILL HARDLY EVEN NOTICE WHEN OTHERS DO IT WRONG...

Whether you have been married for fifty years or five months, you and your spouse have a history. And, undoubtedly, somewhere in that history lurk instances of insensitivity on the part of your mate. Perhaps they spoke harsh words in an angry moment or acted less than loving at a time when you needed love the most.

Often, couples haul in the heavy artillery of part grievances when they enter a fresh battlefield. Such tactics only add fuel to the fight and never aid in the peacekeeping effort. So before your next conflict, make an agreement with your mate. Agree never to insert past issues into today's conflicts. Stay in the present tense when you face marital discord.

Don't keep a list of 'wrong remembered'!!

Understand What Your Spouse Does For A Living

EVERY MAN'S AFFAIRS, HOWEVER LITTLE, ARE IMPORTANT TO HIMSELF...

Chances are, you and your spouse lead double lives-a life at home with the family and a life at work apart from each other. Once you say goo-bye to one anotehr in the morning, even if one of you stays at home, the two of you head off to separate worlds. Each is filled with people and tasks that will continue to affect your moods and attitudes when you come back together in the evening.

For a full and healthy marriage, take time to understand and converse with each other about the daily challenges you face on the job. Accompany each other to company functions and meet coworkers with enthusiasm. Strive to know and understand the worlds you live in apart from one another.

Your work life is too important not to share!!

Take Care Of Your Appearance

PERSONAL APPEARANCE IF LOOKING THE BEST YOU CAN FOR THE MONEY...

In all lielihood, before you were married you went to great lengths to make yourself look your very best to your future mate. You stood in front of the mirror combing and recombing your hair until it looked just right. Often these efforts are ignored when your dating days come to an end.

The energies you applied to 'catching' your spouse should not be abandoned now. Go to the trouble of making yourself look good. Shave or apply fresh makeup. Keep yourself presentable and do your best to remain as attractive as you were when you fitst fell in love.

Honor your mate by looking your best!!

Compliment Your Spouse Often

TO SAY A COMPLIMENT IS A HIGH ART, AND FEW POSSESS IT...

Don't hold back. Let your mate hear complimentary words from your lips every day. Rather than criticsm, use your words to praise and build confidence. Point out the physical attibutes you find attractive. In addition, continually remind your spouse of the many reasons you are sure you married the right person.

Toss aside any missgivings you might have about building up your spouse too much. The world outside your door can be a belittling and demoralizing place. Make your home a refuge from society's steady rips. Let your spouse know that your eyes see the wonderful thigns that the world may never notice.

Declare yourself as your spouse's number-one fan.

Plan A Romantic Getaway

YOU WILL NEVER FIND TIME FOR ANYTHING. iF YOU WANT TIME YOU MUST MAKE IT...

A woman gave her husband a note he was to read as he left the office one day. He was to open the glove box of his car and read these instruction: 'pull out of your office parking lot and go three miles South. Turn left. Go 4.3 miles. Turn right...' and so on. Her husband was delighted when he arrived at the mystery destination. The directions led him tot a hotel where his wife had planned a romantic getaway.

If you wait for a convenient time to break away with your mate, that time may never come. Why not arrange your schedule to include a mini-retreat this month?

Romance is the flame that keeps marriage exciting!!

Resist The Urge To Be A Fixer

IT IS AN HONOUR FOR A MAN TO CEASE FROM STRIFE: BUT EVERY FOOL WILL BE MEDDLING...

In our instant-everything society, it's easy to want to fix out spouse's problems immediately in order to ease their anxiety. It's a temptation to try to come up with a one-step, quick fix.

Often what our mates need the most is not a pat answer but a shoulder to lean on. Remind yourself that you are an invaluable help by simply listening. Many times people have the right answers locked inside of them. They just need some times to talk to someone attentive, someone who cares. All in may take is someone to ask intuitive questions in order to achieve the needed clarity.

Household applieancces need repairmen - your spouse does not!!

Avoid Veral Sparring, Especially In Public

A MEAL OF BREAD AND WATER IN CONTENTED PEASE IS BETTWE THAN A BANQUET SPICED WITH QUARRELS...

If you and your spouse fuss in apparent lighearted fun, save the feuding for behind closed doors. When you constantly pick at one another in public, those observing you may begin to wonder how you treat each other when no one else is around.

Another faux pas is contradicting your spouse in public. When you do this in front of others, your audience begins to doubt your spouse's credibility. And your contradictory comments might be viewed as disloyal. As your spouse recounts a shared experience to others, bite your tongue if you are tempted to share that you remember it differently. Wait until the two of you are alone. And even then, instead of sparring, let kindness rule your discussion.

Save disagreements and contradictions until you get home!!

Express Your Innermost Fears To Your Spouse

THE ONLY THING WE HAVE TO FEAR IS FEAR ITSELF...

Whatever anxiety you harbor-whether wildly irrational or distinctly possible-your first step is to bring it into the light. Trust your spouse enough to share your most secret worry. Through the simple act of admitting your innermost anxiety, you begin to break the strangelehold it has on you.

Let your spouse comfort you and tell you everything will be all right. Join your hands and hearts in prayer about your fear, and trust God to help you in your time of need. It's quite possible that this action will encourage your spouse to share their own fears. It will bring you closer together and provide a wellspring of comfort and affirmation as you attempt to overcome your fears and walk in faith.

To overcome fear, you must expose it to your love ones!!

Stroll Through The Mall Arm in Arm With Your Spouse

IMPARADIS'D IN ONE ANOTHER'S ARMS...

As divorce and discord prevail in many Western homes, perhaps the time has come for happily married couples to exhibit a little PDA (Public Display of Affection). Rarely do we see spouses express genuine love and wholesome affection in public. our world needs a few sweet reminders that true love ithin marriage can-and still does-last a lifetime.

Take pride int he fact that you are beating the odds. Use appropriate expressions of tenderness toward your mate wherever you go. Don't be surprised if you hear a few 'ahh' by those who see you.

What the world needs not is love, sweet love!!

Put YOur Spouse Befoe Your Work

THERE'S AN OPPORTUNE TIME TO DO THINGS, A RIGHT TIME FOR EVERYTHING ONT HE EARTH...

Do you constantly work late? Do you put in long hours of overtime and drag yourself home each night exhausted? When you go out for dinner with your spouse, are you thoughts on the office rather than on the conversation? In subtle and not-so-subtle ways, your job may usurp your mate's rightful place in your priorities. The balancing act between vocation and family often proves tough to manage.

Your career may serve as more than just a means of earning an income. If so, that's wonderful. But when your job takes precedence over your family, it's time to reexamine your priorities. Both husbands and wives should view marriage as their first career.

Marriage is the most important job you'll ever hold!!

Brag About Your Spouse To Family And Friends

I CAN LIVE FOR TWO MONTHS ON A GOOD COMPLIMENT...

Your parents may feel that your mate doesn't quite live up to the hight expectations they held for you. Your friends may view the one you married as an intruder. But when you consistently highlight the positive attributes of the love of your life, your praise should eventually wear down even the most stubborn skeptic.

Seize every opportunity to point out the many wonderful qualities you see in your mate. When you go overboard with genuine praise, the rewards are twofold: you reinforce for yourself how fortunate you are to be married to such a fantastic person, and you let others know you are not willing to entertain any criticism of your spouse.

Focus not on the warts but on the wonders of your mate!!

Keep A Positive Outlook On Life

ATTITUDES ARE CAPABLE OF MAKING THE SAME EXPERIENCE EITHER PLEASANT OR PAINFUL...

A single complaint often leads your thoughts down a depressing spiral of nagativity. Negativity breeds faster than rabbits. Rarely does a complaining attitude produce positive results.

No matter how well things are going, most of us can find something to complaint about. It is so east to fall into the habit of begative thinking. Determine today to put an end to sour negativity and instead look for ways to improve your attitude. Commit a random act of kindness. Focus your attention away from your problems and onto the needs of others. Bless your spouse and those around you with a cheerful disposition.

A positive attitude engenders a positive response!!

Head To Bed With Your Spouse

BED IS A BUNDLE OF PARADOXES; WE GO TO IT WITH RELUCTANCE, YET WE QUIT IT WITH REGRET...

Can you recall those sweet days of childhood hen your parents lovingly tucked the covers under your chin and kissed you good night? Although you're all grown up now, those treasured, end-of-the-dday warm fuzziues need not end. Institute a nightly ritual with your mate.

Don't leave your spouse on the sofa as you tiptoe off to bed. Chooce to go to bed together. Save at least enough energy to kiss each other and whisper 'good-night, honey! I love you..' on those evenings when you are both too tired for a romantic interlude. Dozing off together will increase your feelings of well-being and give you a head start on a good night's rest.

Bedtime rituals aren't just for children!!

Eat Dinner Together At The Table

WHEN YOU HAVE EATEN YOU FILL BLESS THE LORD YOUR GOD FOR THE GOOD LAND HE HAS GIVEN US...

Are you always eating on the run? Tonight, will dinner amount to grabbing a quick burger from a drive-thru? If so, you're missing out on an opportunity to communicate with your mate.

As often as possible, share your meal at the table in the quiet of your own home. Don't plan a big production, or your sit-down dinner plans will seldom materialize. Turn off the mobile phone and let the answering machine pick up your calls. Listen to soothing music rather than the blaring television. Light candles to add a bit of romance to the room if you like. Provide a relaxing atmosphere for your evening meals, and watch it become nourishment for your marriage as well as your body.

If you're too busy to sit and eat, you're too busy!!

Block Out Time On Your Calendar For Your Mate

THE UNFORTUNATE THING ABOUT THIS WORK IS THAT GOOD HABITS ARE SO MUCH EASIER TO GIVE UP THAN BAD ONES...

Before you enter any other oppointments on your weekly planner, reserve a standing date night with your mate. Schedule this time as you would any important business meeting. Free nights seldom, if ever, magically appear. If your calendar or bank account won't allow for a weekly date, aim for a monthly rendezvous.

If you find it next to impossible to pencil in a Friday night movie date,consider a Saturday morning breakfast date at your favourite restaurant or a Sunday afternoon stroll through the park. Once you've mutually decided ont he most convenient date, time, and place, religiosly guard this important tryst. Don't let anything or anyone squeeze into this time.

Continuing to date after marriage helps keep the romance alive!!

Never Go To Bed Angry

DO NOT LET THE SUN GO DOWN WHILE YOU ARE STILL ANGRY, AND DO NOT GIVE THE DEVIL A FOOTHOLD...

Like mushrooms growing in the dark and damp forest, anger sprouts into full-blown contempt during the night. Something about those long, dark hours seems to breed malice. EAch tick of the clock intensifies a nightime rage. Anger is a natural human emotion, but left to fester, it can do real damage to a relationship.

Don't take your anger to bed with you. Don't allow bitterness to fester until it does lasting harm. Expose your anger to the light as soona s it sprouts. Talk openly with your mate about the issue in question. Then forgive and do it quickly. Otherwise, it will be even more difficult in the morning.

Put anger to rest before you retire for the night!!

Refuse To Speak Negatively About Your Spouse

A WORD RASHLY SPOKEN CANNOT BE BROUGHT BACK BY A CHARIOT AND FOUR HORSES...

A public forum is not the appropriate place to nurse a grudge. Even if you feel your spouse deserves your critism, never air your anger and resentment in the company of others. Such an action often backfires.

As the afternoon TV talk shows have proven, an audience is more likely to inflame rather than quell an already volatile situation. When you criticize your mate publicly, you not only lower their opinion of you as well. Stop before you speak those negative words. Ask yourself, what do I hope to gain by criticizing my spouse to others? You'll find that question rarely has a worthy answer.

Disagreements should be dicussed behind closed doors!!

Develop A Sense Of Humor

AMONG THOSE WHOM I LIKE OR ADMIRE, I CAN FIND NO COMMON DENOMINATOR; BUT AMONG THOSE WHOM I LOVE, I CAN: ALL OF THEM MAKE ME LAUGH...

A good sense of humor is an immeasurable source of joy when shared with your mate. Tossing around comedic insights about this crazy life can foster a lighthearted atmoshpere that will bring energy into your marriage.

If a good sense of humor does not come naturally to you, there are ways to cultivate one. Train yourself to be observant during conversations. You may find that something someone says triggers a funny memory or a play on words. Observe people who have a good sense of humor and note how they interject humor into everyday life and conversation. The important thing is to make an honored place for shared laughter with your spouse.

Laugh your way to a happy marriage!!

Deal With Your Emotional Baggage

THE FIRST RULE IS TO KEEP AN UNTROUBLED SPIRIT. THE SECOND IS TO LOOK THINGS IN THE FACE AND KNOW THEM FOR WHAT THEY ARE...

All human beings have painful experiences that have an impact on them at some level. They can affect the way we make decisions and relate to others, including our mates. If you experience feellings of guilt, failurem angerm or shame as a result of past experiences, dont ignore them. They are likely to intensify and will undoubtedly affect your marriage.

It will take some courage, but if you want to be a more secure, loving person and spouse, it's vital that you work to heal broken places in your heart. Take a look at yourself honestly. Be willing to talk with God, your close friends, your mate, or maybe even a professional counselor. The healthier you are emotionally the healtheir your marriage will be.

Lighten your load - drop your emotional baggage!!

Forgive Each Other

BE GENTLE AND READY TO FORGIVE; NEVER HOLD GRUDGES.

People hurt other people - intentionally or not, it' a fact of life. Holding on to that hurt forces you to carry a load that your body, particularly your heart, was not designed to handle. It robs you of energy that could be used for mroe positive things - like nurturing your marriage.

Forgiveness is a gift - no string attached, regardless of whether the offender is erpentant or has no remorse. It doesn't mean validating the action or excusing the wrongdoer. It means fully understanding how much you were hurt and choosing to release the offending person in spite of it. It's something you can do fully only through God, because He has done it so freely for you.

Forgiving others is a gift you give yourself!!

Go On A Walk Together

MY LOVER SPOKE AND SAID TO ME, ' BABE, MY DARLING, MY BEAUTIFUL ONE, AND COME WITH ME'...

Go ahead! A stroll through the neighborhood will do both of you good in more ways than one. If you have children at home, saddle up the stroller or strap on their in-line skates. Walk just fast enough to get your heart pumping, but not so fast that you can't talk comfortably. Share the details of your busy day. Watch as the sun sets. Saunter in silence. Soak int he fresh air and the comforting sense of belonging to each other.

Convenient excuses not to walk abound, but you will quickly find that this new evening ritual is worth the effort. It will provide an opportunity to exercise your body and tone up your relationship. Don't put it off.

Spend at least a few minutes of each day walking outside together!!

Treasure Your Time Together

THERE IS NO MORE LOVELY, FRIENDLY, AND CHARMING RELATIONSHIP, COMMUNION, OR COMPANY THAN A GOOD MARRIAGE...

We often to to great lengths to protect our valuables. We polish our silver, wax the car, rent a safe-deposit box for the diamond jewelry we have inherited, andinsure our possessions for the full replacement value. Yet we often neglect one of our most priceless treasures. A strong marriage demands an investment of time spend together-polishing an protecting, nurturing and affirming.

Don't underestimate the value of a good marriage. It can provide you with a lifetime of comfort, emcouragement, and a strong sense of family even after the kids are grown and gone. Marriage, however, requires constant maintenance. Don't allow anything or anyone to interfere with those precious few moments you find to spend together.

Investing time in your marriage yields priceless results!!

Take A Vacation From Television

THE EASIEST WAY TO FIND MORE TIME TO DO ALL THE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO IS TO TURN OFF THE TELEVISION...

Many people can't imagine living without television. Turning off the tube for good constitutes a drastic lifestyle change that few can manage cold turkey. Better results come when they wean themselves in smaller doses, starting with one day or even one evening. It also helps to plan a pleasant activity to enjoy together. Try reading a book together or engaging in a conversation on a topic of mutual interest.

Once you've broken the habit of automatically turning on the set, you will be able to practice the lost art of conversation. Time spent discussing the big things and the litte things that are happening in your lives will bring a renewed intimacy to your relationship. The number of topics you can find to talk about may surprise you. You just may discover that your lives are every bit as interesting as those of your favorite sitcom characters.

Television is a poor substitute for real life!!

Hold Out Your Hand

I AM ALWAYS WITH YOU; YOU HOLD ME BY MY RIGHT HAND...

Following the death of a spouse, many a bereaved widow or widower laments the fact that no one touches them anymore. Seldom-if ever-do people complain that their spouse touched them too much through the years.

Begin now to build a large resevoir of 'touching' memories to cherish in your golden years. Extend your hand across the dinner table and give your mate's hand a gentle squeeze. Inter-twine your fingers as you walk down the street. The simplest act of touching costs nothing, requires little effort, but pays big dividends if practiced faithfully. Your tender touch can convey love and a multitude of other positive emotions.

Reach out and touch the one you love!!

Love Etravagantly

TO EASE ANOTHER'S HEARTACHE IS TO FORGET ONE'S OWN...

There's one sure way to kill love - measure it! Loving someone because you think it's right thing to do, because it's 'your turn', or simply for what you can get isn't love at all. It's manipulation.

Keeping records of any kind can be bothersome, but with love, it can be deadly - especially to a relationship. If it's true that the more love you give away, the more you have, do yourself a favor and love abundantly. And be sure to include those who aren't in a position to return it. Give in secret. Volunteer. Pamper your spouse without expectations of the favor being returned. These loving deeds will benefit not only you but also everyone around you.

Don't just lend a hand; give your heart!!

Pause Before Responding

IT IS BEST TO LISTEN MUCH, SPEAK LITTLE, AND NOT BECOME ANGRY...

Never allow anger to control you. In no place is this more important than in your marriage. Practice sel-control by pausing for ten seconds before you answer angry or critical remark.

When you respond too quickly, you tend to overeact and fan the flames of conflict. A timely pause not only gives you a chance to speak calmly, rationally, and thoughtfully, but it also provides an opportunity for your mate to reconsider their words. It's difficult to maintain a loving home life if we allow anger to engage us in conflict. But it will do wonders for your relationship when you handle volatile situations with finesse.

Instead of sharpening your claws, give yourself a chance to pause!!